Polish wedding traditions

[edit 15.07.2009]
[My Polish wedding traditions here.]

Mimo, że blog piszę po polsku, poproszono mnie by opisać polskie weselne zwyczaje dla obcokrajowców. Zgłosiła się z tym do mnie pewna przyszła żona Polaka Jenna, i zapewne jest takich dziewczyn dużo w związku z czym dziesiejszy post będzie wyjątkowo pod tą publikę, po angielsku.

Polish wedding traditions vary depending on region (and also whether city or countryside), budget, and most recently, increasingly on the bride's and groom's personalities:) There is not even one element which absolutely must be part of a Polish wedding; although it is true that many follow a similar scenario and program. In addition, due to foreign magazines, TV, movies and internet, wedding customs receive a lot of international influence and no one can any longer say with certainty whether it is foreign or local.
Rather than describing the entire process, which often overlaps with what is common in other countries, I will concentrate on details of elements which are either Polish only, Slavic only, or regardless of where they came from, still practised in Poland, and not likely in other places.

According to me the most emblematic moments which distinguish Polish traditions from others are:
1. the blessing
2. throwing pennies at newly weds
3. welcoming with bread and salt
4. carrying over the threshold
5. throwing/breaking glasses for good luck
6. tossing of the veil and tie

Not everyone follows these, in fact I have asked some friends for pictures of these moments and found that some have not followed any of these! So it is all relative:)

The blessing takes place usually at the bride's house and usually right before leaving for church/city hall. This entails that the bride and groom actually do see each other prior to the wedding. It is a tradition followed mostly among religious families, although it does not have to have a very religious tone. This depends purely on the family and can even take a very relaxed form of saying a few warm words from both sets of parents to their children. It is not uncommon to have grandparents or godparents participate. Most often all the women present cry, dads shed a tear or two as well;)

[slub Moniki]

Everyone makes their way to the place of the ceremony, where the order of entering can be again quite varied. It is not said the father must walk the bride down the aisle, but it does happen. Sometimes the bride and groom walk in together (if it's a religious wedding, possibly after the priest has come out to greet them), followed by the witnesses. It is not very frequent to have more than 1 witness per person, therefore other bridesmaids and best men are rarely present, although it is not disallowed.
Both civil and religious weddings are limited to certain locations only; religious only taking place in churches and civil very rarely outside the city hall institutions, on occasions they can take place elsewhere but this requires permission, paperwork and I have never seen or heard of a Polish wedding outdoors.

Upon exiting from the ceremony the newly weds are greeted with pennies thrown at them. This often is accompanied by petals or rice (again traditions practised internationally).

[ślub Dominiki i Szymona]

The pennies are supposed to bring financial fortune and need to be collected by the newly weds.

[slub Agaty]

Most often this is followed by all guests orderly queuing in front of the couple, where everyone gets their moment to congratulate, wish all the best and offer flowers. Modern couples these days often insist on not having 200 bouquets brought their way, but old habits die hard and you can frequently still see trunks of multiple cars loaded with flowers leaving the church.

When the newly weds arrive at the reception site, they are again greeted! This time by their parents, who usually make a little speech and offer them bread and salt.



The couple is to taste a small piece of the bread and salt and later drink from two glasses.













[z Kalina Studio]











One of the glasses traditionally should have vodka the other water and no one is to know who gets what, until they sip. These glasses need to be thrown behind their back and should break for good luck.
[slub Adrianny]


The groom traditionally carries the bride in his arms over the threshold.

[zdjęcie przypadkowo znalezione Instytucie Matematyki i Informatyki]


The reception begins and consists of eating, dancing, toasting and drinking, in a pretty flexible manner. I say this because having witnessed a few Italian weddings, ours seem extremely flexible, whereas theirs are very organised as to the schedule and order of events. When there's eating, everyone eats; when dancing, the tables are usually empty of food and people, coffee is taken only at coffee time and more or less people are guided as to what they are to do at what time slot of the wedding. None of that at Polish weddings! Activities intertwine and guests are found at all places at all times, no rigid rules on who does what when:)

It continues this way till midnight, when it is custom to toss the veil.

[ślub Marty]


Similar to the bouquet throwing, the idea is to gather all the single girls and whoever catches the veil is to get married first. Depending again on the personality of the couple, this can be a very elaborated process, with many contests involved, or reduced to one single contest consisting in making a simple circle around the bride who has her eyes covered/closed. A lot is dictated here by the DJ or wedding band, who often impose their own ways, contrary to the bride's wish:( The bride is to throw the veil and whoever catches is announced the new bride.

[ślub Marty]

Similar is done for the single guys and the groom's tie. The new bride and new groom of the night are usually invited to dance together, when the DJ has really a tough patronising personality, he insists on them kissing:(
This aspect of Polish weddings is my least favourite and I actually couldn't decide whether to write about it or not, as it leaves my country in bad light, but...well it's the truth so everyone might as well know it.

Polish weddings usually go well into the night, as my groom says - until the last can still dance or walk;) so 6am would be considered perfectly normal. But often couples opt for a simple dinner followed by modest hours of dancing; sometime dinner only. It really all depends, and many possibilities are considered normal.

Lastly, the following day, some people organise a brunch..which sometimes extends into another evening party, organised mostly for the guests who came from far away and is simply a gesture in their direction, to make them feel welcome and taken care of before they head back home. In the countryside and in old times, this 2nd day party often consisted in eating the leftovers of the wedding day, recovering from the hangover (haha) and drinking some more. These days and most of all in big cities, this custom is rarely followed, but again not unlikely.
There it is! a Polish wedding in a nutshell.